Scorpion's VS Bleach

Scorpion's are ugly and very mean creatures. I mean seriously, they are all shelled in an armor of thick skin, or whatnot, and then they have a poker at the end of their butt. Some times I can't help but question God and the reason he created creatures such as these. I have never been stung by one, but I hear it is very painful.

I'm pretty sure Austin would tell you....if he could remember the two times he was stung. But being 4 months and 6 months when it happened, I highly doubt it. Poor kid, just minding his own business, playing on the floor of our old apartment, when out of no where comes this monstrosity and stings him in his hand. That scream will stay with me for as long as I live. The second time wasn't any better. He was laying on the floor after bath time, everyone was asleep but him and I. I walked to grab a diaper, I was half way down the hallway and he screamed again. I came running down the hallway towards him, hopped over the back of the couch, scooped him up right as it was about to sting him again. I screamed for Chris, who didn't hear me. I ran with him down the hallway and threw the door open. My husband flew out of bed as I said the words, "Austin was stung by a Scorpion again."

My husband is not fond of bugs and such. He will kill them when needed, but 2 things he hates. Ants....and....yup you guessed it. Our ugly, armored creatures.

So where does the bleach come in you may ask?

Well, the other day Chris had gotten out of the shower and was about to hang his towel up. Not sure what made him look up at the ceiling but he did and he screamed for me. My thoughts were, Lily got hurt....no she wasn't crying...They boys were fighting....no they weren't screaming...What the heck? Why did he call me as if he was scared half witless....Well I didn't even have to make it down the hallway, he came to me. "There's a scorpion on the ceiling, get it."

Ok so real quick...isn't it suppose to be the man who does the bug killing??? Anyone?? Or is that just me??

Ok back to the topic at hand...husband...unwilling to kill scorpion's, putting his wife in purlieus danger..ok that is a bit of an over exaggeration..but still, they can do as much harm to me as they can do him.....am I that easy to sacrifice? Jeesh...I mean I know I can have a mean side to me...but seriously, feed me to the scorpions, come on.....

So what do I do? I walk to my kitchen cabinet and grab a plastic, see through, kids cup. I also grab the nearest piece of mail I could see, then walked back down the hallway. I put the cup over the blasted thing, then pushed the mail at the dang thing trying to knock it into the cup...

A little help for the imagination....me...hallways..pj's...hands above my head, standing on my tip toes, cup in hand, praying for my life....moving on...

So once I heard and felt the thumb of dear Mr.Scorpi, him and I headed over to my laundry area for a talk. Which went something as followed. "You are a disgusting thing. You don't belong in my house, now you will die." From behind me I hear, "Die Mommy? Why does it need to die? Will it go into a box into the ground, then go to heaven."

We have talked to the boys about death because of Lily's heart. So I wasn't shocked to hear this question. I shook my head and tried to tell him that this was a horrible bug that could and would hurt him if it got the chance. That mommy didn't like having to kill this thing but it needed to happen.....That last part was a lie....if you haven't caught on yet.

To make me laugh harder as I turned around, Chris walks up behind me and goes, "You aren't planning on letting that thing go are you?"

Excuse me??? I just risked my life for this thing....once again, exaggeration... you know it, I know it, but that's not the point...Let it go? What so it can get me while I am sleeping? After I just laughed evilly at it and told it, it was going to die? I think NOT.

So I reached above my head once again...no not the ceiling...the bleach...I opened the bottle and dumped. Oh that poor scorpion scampered around the bottom of the cup, you could hear it trying to climb and scratch it's way out...

Oh boy...I don't have any animal activist as my blog readers do I? I really love animals...really, truly I do....just not bugs...creepy crawly little things....Don't flog me...stone me...or even worse yell at me.....wait...I think that should have been the other way around.

So back to Mr.Scropi...or previously known as such...he was now floating dead in the cup. Chris goes, "Were not keeping the cup right?" I bit back my retort of sarcasm..."I will never look at the cup the same, it is being trashed." I walked to the patio and placed the cup at the middle of the table, he was still twitching, he needed to marinate for a bit longer.

Well, you might ask, where is this story going....is it not over??

Alas my friends, it continues...no we are not talking Rise of the Scorpion King here....Although that was a good movie...

Sorry...off topic.

No, no, my kids like to go out on the patio and chat with the neighbors. We had already shown them Scorpi so I never gave it a second thought about them looking at him. We had told them to leave the cup alone and both of them told us ok. Well it wasn't Lucas that I needed to worry about. Austin on the other hand wanted another peak at our newly dead friend. I told him to put the cup back, when I turned around, Lily had already moved past me, she went straight for the table. Austin had put the cup back alright...on the edge of the table...do you see where I am going with this?

She grabbed the cup from the table and before I could get it from her, she decided she needed to drink it.

I screamed.

She screamed

We all screamed......together....Sorry..bad time to bust out in song.....*oh and by the way, its cried, not screamed....in the song that is.*

I yelled for the boys to go to their room.

It was moments like these that I was glad my phone is always in my back pocket.

I called my neighbor to get poison controls number. She gave it to me, I hung up. All the while I am stripping Lily of her clothes, trying to wash her off. Have you ever gotten bleach on your skin for an extended amount of time? Not a pretty feeling....a bleach burn is what we call it.

Well, I was rinsing her mouth out while waiting for the call to stop ringing. They finally picked up and before they could get their name out, I rushed into what just happened. Lily was still screaming, I was crying, shaking, and thinking that I was a horrible mother. The poison control lady proceeded to tell me that she would be fine. She asked me if she was coughing, which I told her she wasn't. She said as long as she wasn't coughing and none got into her eyes then things would be fine, they would call me back in an hour to check on her. I thanked her profusely, then hung up and hugged Lily, who was still screaming.

Why do I mention she is still screaming...well me being the dumb non-blond I am, forgot that seeing bleach went down her top and short, it escaped my pea-brain mind at the moment that it was on her diaper....

UGH...three seconds later it clicked. I called for Lucas to grab me another butt cover as I went and put her in the tub to rinse her off. The damage was already done. Sure enough, she has a bleach burn on her tummy, and now every time I change her diaper, it is a smack in the face at my carelessness.

What lessons did I learn here?

1) Bleach Kills Scorpion's
2) Bleach is not kid friendly *not like I didn't know*
3) Find less dramatic way's to kill bugs. Do things like flushing them down the potty
4) Do NOT freak out and hyperventilate when your child does something as mentioned above.
it does you no good, and it freaks them out even more.

Thankfully I have wonderful neighbors. I took the kids downstairs and they watched them while I sat on my friends patio shaking, while my continued on their merry way. I love the fact that that they can bounce back after something like that...me on the other hand....well as you can see, I'm still not over Mr.Scorpi and his dear friend, Clorox Bleach....

Love Hugs and Blessings
Jenna