Samanatha

As many of you know, who are my friend on Facebook, the last couple days have been quite emotional for me. I have not wanted to blog, for fear of word vomit.I have been numb,closed off to the pain of everything. Now before many of you get concerned, nothing is wrong with Lily, she is in excellent health. This blog is specifically dedicated to one person. My best friend, girl friend that is, Sami-Jo. My partner in school and in crime (not in the, "Hey Mom, I'm in Jail" sense), my shoulder to lean on, my verbal punching bag in times of frustration, my best friend, and my sister.

Over the last few days I have sat here in a depressed state wanting nothing more to write something meaningful, yet not being able to slow my thoughts long enough to do so. You see, Sami-jo has moved to Georgia, to many it may not be much, but to me it seemed like a world stopping event. How could one person effect me so much you might ask. Well, through my almost 24 years of life, I have had only a handful of friends. Most acquittance's is passing, a friend for that point in time, one you remember, and share memories with, but not ones that share life altering events with. Sami and I have raised babies, birthed new little ones, experienced ups and Downs with our relationships, brinking on divorce, critically ill children, and divorce itself, together we have faced it all, never leaving the others side. Our children have taken baths together, played doctors, house, and unfortunately at a young age, shared a kiss. Going crazy together as we had play dates with five children from the age of infant to our eldest now 6. Sharing passions, dreams, and life trials, you can't help but experience a woven bond of friendship. Having our fall outs and disagreements, things were not always perfect between us. Yet with all that being said, without her a part of me seems missing. I mean, I have spent so much time with her, I have picked up a bit of a twang in my accent. As the old saying goes, "We go together like pea's and carrots."

That has always been a debate of who is the carrots and who are the peas, in the end it never mattered because we hate them both, cooked at least. Over the last few days I have been thinking about how much I am losing without here here. Friends for only 3 years, but seeming like decades. Completing each other sentences before things are even said. We joke that if one of us were male we would have been the perfect couple. But we aren't, and she is now gone. Trying to fill the void with someone else would be pointless, because there can't be another Sami. Sami is one of a kind, like a sunset, there may be the setting of the sun daily, but there will never be two sunsets alike.

Sami has started a new chapter of her life, and granted I am not there to share it in person, I will always be a phone call away to hear of the days happenings. I have to adjust to a "new" normal, seems like I do that often. And what i think cuaght me most off guard was having to do it for something other Lily and her heart. I like change, but I don't like change when it has to do with losing something dear to me. Yet, life goes on, there are planes, trains and automobiles, so we will never be far apart.

Dearest Sami-Jami;

Think of me often while you are out there. Chase a chicken for me and remember to stay away from the fences when you have had a few to many. I miss you so much already, as I was walking to get Lucas today, I looked out into our field, and things seemed to dim a little. (Just so happened the sun hid behind the clouds at that exact moment) AZ seems lonely without you, like something just isn't right. The thought of a girls night without you seems wrong, yet Lindsey and I are going to Starbucks tonight and then to the movies and I am sure you will dominate the conversation. You are my second half, without you i feel a bit deaf...LOL...you chuckled didn't you, because you know you are the same way now...No one says, "HUH" like us, and no one can dance in the car like we can.I heard "Our Song" on the radio taking Lily to her apt today, and I smiled and cried. All i hear is you singing it, just like whenever you hear "Gunpowder and Lead" all you will here me singing it, all the while I am thinking, "Don't screw up the intro, don't screw up."

I have a mission for you ok, can you start looking for a field? You are in the country now, and who better to ask. Find me my field of dreams, and I will come. (Please tell me you have seen that movie) But joking aside, you find it, I will come out, Lily in tow, and we will make cute summer dresses and get straw hats and go dancing through the field. You up for that challenge? I might have to drag Kevin along for pictures.

I love you Samantha-Jo, forever and always. There will never come a day I say Sami-who. You are unforgettable, and I have been blessed to call you my friend. Love you sweetheart!

Forever Friends,
Your Jenna