Am I a Supermom?

So where do I start, what do I say now? Lilys heart still isnt fireing right, her arrythmias are still there so up we go on her beta blocker. Will that fix the problem? we sure pray it will, if it doesn't you all are most likely wondering what steps we take after that......well that would be a back to the hospital we go for a heart cath to take a closer sneak peak at her heart. They are wondering if it could be a blockage somewhere they will have to ballon out, or is something is leaking etc. They wont know until they go in there to see in greater deatil. So what would this all ultimantly mean, more time in the hospital, because a heart cath you are usually there for at least 3 days. If they find something I dont even know what to begin to think. I am terrified....like I am sick to my stomach right now, I want to cry, I want to be a little girl again and crawl into my daddys lap and him stroke my hair as he tells me it will all be alright, I just want to go home sometimes. I love my in laws, with all my heart, they have been beyond supportive and I can never thank them enough for helping us, but of course we all know sometimes no one is as good as mom or dad. As a little girl you know your daddy is your hero and he can fix anything, but as you grow you know that is not the truth. Now as a parent here I am....and my kids look to me and think I can fix everything....that I am supermom...I am their hero and when I look at Lily and she looks at me...I feel no superhero power...that no ammount of power I have will save her if the Lord truly doesnt want it. People think of a supermom as one that can cook, clean, have play time, and keep socical engagements. I think of a supermom as one that raises her kids right, that raisies them and keeps them from harms way, while still teaching them lifes lessons. Will I ever get to teach Lily those lessons? Will I be a supermom to her? Only the Lord God Almighty knows that answer to those questions.....this is where I end this blog, I can no longer see through my tears...I am so frusterated....can my poor baby catch a break?