Life Unscripted: Judgement day...Posting throught day...start from bottom!

The Day I Became a Heart Mother

The Day I Became A Heart Mother
One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same.
They told me that my baby was sick.
I thought, "Am I to blame"?
I don't think I can handle this.
I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking.
I have loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child.
I will listen to your advice.
I will give my son any chance.
No matter what the price.
I will learn all that
I need To help my baby thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube.
My child must survive!
Will he need a lot of therapy?
Will he gain the needed weight?
Please God, help me do this.
As I accept our fate.
When the monitors beep at night,
it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound.
Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another Angel earns his wings
,I run to my baby's bed.
I watch him sleep for quite a while.
I bend down and kiss his head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.
I look toYou wondering why?
Oh Lord,I just can't know your ways....no matter how I try.
And yet,I trust you hold his life,and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here,
but my heart begs,"PLEASE let him stay"!
From pacing the surgical waiting room,
to sitting by his bed.
From wishing for a good nights sleep,
to learning every med.
From wondering,"Will he be alright?",
to watching him reach out his hands.
With every smile my heart just melts,
despite life's harsh demands.
For all who see that faded line.
I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much.
I would face ANY trial.
That scar I trace with my finger(It's the door to his beautiful heart).
God must have known how much I'd love him(Just as He loved him from the start).
A heart mom is always a heart mom.
Now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven,
Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Every day I will try and remember,
I was chosen for him (and no other).
I will always embrace that beautiful day.......
When I became a"Heart Mother".

~Stephanie HustedMommy to Braeden
HLHS post Fontan
Carepage name: babyhusted

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Judgement day...Posting throught day...start from bottom!

So here I am...instead of sleeping, i am blogging, thinking to myself, Lordy bee woman, go get your hind end in bed, you are going to be hurting tomorrow...but no rest for the weary...I am to nervous to sleep...you have NO IDEA...ok well a few of you might understand. Seeing it is now 1am, Lily is not allowed to have any more bottles...so I will introduce you to Miss.Crabby Pants tomorrow,*Through Pictures that is, wihile we are waiting.* We have to be there at 5, and then they will take her back at 7. They did not tell me how long they would be in there, not even an estimant of a time. Should I bring a pillow? Oh wait...I already am....I want all this to be over already and behind us because, I want to know what the future holds, how long until we have to do what we have to do....So....I will put on a brave face....and straighten my back and hold myself tall as I walk in there tomorrow....so when the come by and deflate me, I hopefully wont sink so low. I know I shouldnt think that way, but right now it is hard to think otherwise....oh well...we will find everything out in less then 10 hours...keep your fingers and toes crossed, and please say a million prayers for my lily girl, I cant imagine my life without her here with me.....

4 comments:

Evie's Story said...: 8:50am...praying for you as you wait...peace...assurance...and comfort!!!
Anxiously awaiting an update!
M; October 8, 2008 at 5:51 AM
The Simmons Family said...: I'm thinking of Lily and especially you today. Prayers have been said that things go smoothly and that you get good results. It's NEVER easy and it just plain sucks that our little braves have to go through so much.

Andrea
simmonsfamilyupdate.blogspot.com; October 8, 2008 at 7:18 AM
The Tams Family said...: We are all praying for little Lily today. She will come through it just fine. Take it from the person whose daughter has the longest caths in history....it will be a long day, but she'll be kicking and screaming again in no time. We are thinking about you all today!
Matt, Stacey, Drew and Addie; October 8, 2008 at 7:20 AM
Anonymous said...: Praying for Lily and you too. The waiting sucks, there's no other way to say it. LOL I'll be praying for good results and that poor Liliy won't feel so bad afterward.
Millie and Colin-HLHS
cutiecolin.blogspot.com; October 8, 2008 at 10:19 AM