Hush Little baby don't you cry!

Being home brings its own set of problems. You no longer have the monitors around to confirm suspicions when things aren't seeming to look right. You have to trust your instincts and try not to over react at every little thing. Lily seems to be fine but then out of no where she will let out cries of pain. She won't let you touch her and you cant seem to calm her down. She will cry it out until she works up a sweat and then it is over. It happens through out the day at least a dozen times a day. She hasn't been sleeping like she use to, I know we have to work her back into her old schedule but she no longer will lay down and fall asleep like she use to. Now she screams, I think she is remembering the hospital, where we would have to leave her in the crib and not be able to pick her up due to the lines and wires. She would SCREAM at the hospital, and it broke my heart but there was no way to calm her down, now unfortunately it seems to have come home with us. I wish I could stand there and rock her and sing to her for as long as I possibly could but with 2 other kids, a husband, and house work, there just never seems to be enough time for the little things all the time.

Its all about finding your groove. Lily usually falls back into it after her surgeries and hospital stays, but I think since she is older and now remembers a little bit more, it is seeming to be harder for her this time. Once again, I wish none of this was happening to her, I wish she had her innocence of the world, that she didn't know hurt or pain, but once again, this is her life and we all have to come to except it, Lily has to except it...but not now.....not at 9 months old. For right now we will look at the Christmas tree in awww, and be adorable and innocent and snooty, I mean that in the best way possible. She has such an attitude to her, she is a spit fire, she has to be....she reminds me of me....except in a small package. if she is a pistol now, watch out, she will be a shotgun later...then we are in trouble. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas if I do not blog before then. Hopefully we have an uneventfull Christmas, with nothing but Joy and Love. God bless you all!

SincerelyJenna