To most of you this blog will make no sense. So I will give a quick story... Chris and I are in the process of divorcing..and as of yesterday he took all my babies and left...taking them to his parents..and seeing we only have the one car...I am stranded...without my babies....So this little bit of writing below lets my emotions flow of what is running through my head at the moment.
The soundless noise echo's around my household, louder then the streets of time square
I find no peace, I find no ease when I close my eyes.
I hear child cries and I run down the hall to their room, only to see empty beds
Then trying to soothe myself back to sleep with a million thoughts racing through my head
My arms ache, my heart squeezes a little tighter when I see their pictures on the wall
Tears stream freely, unchecked, knowing they do no good to cry,
but they let the unrelenting pain out thats inside
I feel my self breaking, stumbling, preparing for the fall
Bruised and batterd, broken to pieces, I pick myself up off the floor
I remind myself this won't be forever
One day, one hour, one minute at a time
I know one day it will be so much better, I will have so much more
But for now, I look in the mirror and see the woman I have become
Silently asking what have I done
Not regretting my decissions, not second guessing my choices
Except for the one that started this all...sometimes wishing it could become undone
Then I think back to the reason my tears fall, and I can't regret that at all...