Screams or pure terror fill the nights of my household. Each night gets worse, yet you can't help to hope for it to be getting better instead. What am I even talking about? Well, Lily has over the last few weeks, developed night terrors. They have steadily gotten worse, in the beginning she would wake up maybe once or twice a night screaming, to which you would talk to her, calm her down and all would be good. 3 weeks later, she woke up 7 times last night, with bone chilling screams, screaming, "NO, NO, NO" and dripping sweat. My voice that usually soothes couldn't reach out to her, would only make her scream worse at times. I frantically tried to figure a way out to soothe her, and of course it all came down to the one thing her and I truly have in common for now, music.
I have a baby Lullaby CD, that has mostly Christian children songs on there, but the one song she truly loves and has always calmed her is "I Only Imagine". It isn't the version sung but Mercy Me, but it is a truly calming version of it. Putting that song on repeat worked for about a good solid 2 hours before the next rounds of screams started. Then I found she likes "Jesus Loves Me". For a little while I heard her lay in her bed trying to sing with it. She recently received a bunny for her birthday that plays the same song and she is in love with it.
(I will post a birthday post here soon, I know I am terribly behind)45 mins after Jesus Loves Me, she woke again, sobbing and thrashing. I finally lost it, from sleep deprivation or pure frustration and heart break I know not, but I sat and cried with her. I finally sat and sang her the one song she always falls asleep to me singing, and when it didn't work I cried even more.
Never have I had to experience night terrors. Sure my boys may have the occasional bad dreams, but nothing like this. When I brought it up to the PCP, she said it is just the age. When I brought it up to Cardiology, they said it has more to do with Post Traumatic Stress then the age. She remembers it all, and most children don't have night terrors unless something traumatic has occurred in their life. Well Lily has had a lot of traumatic experiences that is for dang sure. And once again I am at a lost for comfort. I couldn't comfort her after her surgeries the way I would like, I couldn't take the pain away, I couldn't just makes it stop for her. Then here I am again, watching on the sidelines as my daughter screams in terror in her bed.
I prayer as I sing, I pray as I cry, I pray as I rock, that God will take these fears from her and soothe her where I can not. Hold her close when she wants me not. To surround her with nothing but pleasant dreams. And I ask that of you too, along with any advice if you have experienced what we are going through. I will endure it, but it is making her exhausted. She isn't getting good sleep and then she fights me for her naps. The circles under her eyes are getting darker by the day it seems. Any tidbit of advice would be great. I slept on the couch last night because even when she is sleeping, she still whimpers or shouts. Chris can sleep through it, I can not....An exhausted mommy is normal in this household, but it is about to get 10 times worse if things don't look up.
Love, Hugs, and Blessings
Jenna
4 comments:
Hi,
I'm Wendy (my son has CHD and I can't remember how or when but I did).
I wanted to add a little to the night terror post - both my kids have them. Maddy my heart healthy from her worries over her brother and any other anxiety in her life, and Chris, my son with CHD is prone to them in times of illness, after surgery, and once while we were still in the hospital.
A few tips: you cannot "wake" them up. Touching, talking to them, holding them usually prolongs the night terror. They don't remember it at all the next day, and they don't harm them. It is actually worse on us moms (and dads) to listen to and feel helpless. Usually, we take whichever child is having a night terror to our bed and lie on either side. We don't touch except if we have to. We keep lights low and keep it quiet and wait it out. THe main thing is keeping the child safe.
We have found that anxiety, and being overtired triggers it. If you notice a pattern (often the first night terror will happen within the first 2 hours of falling asleep), it may help to rouse the child slightly from their sleep state.
Hope this helps,
Wendy
I forgot to add that night terrors can last up to 45 minutes :( There is a lot of good information out there if you google it.
Take care
Wendy
Awww....poor Lily. My son has these night terrors. We just have to sit and hold him until he is finished. They have seemed to taper off now that he is older...but for awhile there, it was every night.
Thinking of you.
oh my gosh Jenna.. I'm crying right now for you both.. I have no experience with night terrors and so I have no great advice, but I WILL pray for her. It brakes my heart and I ccan't imagine what it does for you. I have been having a rough time lately thinking about what this is doing to bela EMOTIONALLY for once, and not just physcially. To me, it is almost just as scary.. It always seemed Lily just bounced right back to living her happy little life, but you just have to wonder what fears they have deep down. This must be her way of demonstrating them. Bela dosn't trust anyone, physically shakes and whimpers when we go anywhere new, and makes herself vomit from fear regularly. It is AWEFUL, and I just can't imagine what night terors are like on top of it all. I hope they end, and that you can get good, sound advice on how to deal with them. Have you asked Beth about them? As a mother, she usually has good comforting advice..
Lots of love..
avery
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